Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
