Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize