I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
