You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
