i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
kristin has been a bad kristin
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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