omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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