I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I understand Curling. That high.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
