She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
