just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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