Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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