so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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