..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
