i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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