Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
