My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
