what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
