I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
