so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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