would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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