Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
