My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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