Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
