I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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