I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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