your thong is hanging out like whoa
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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