A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
