it wasn't lemon gatorade
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
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