So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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