so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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