Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man

(423): View more from Tennessee

1:48 am: your uglier

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(574): View more from Indiana

I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.

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(419): View more from Ohio

More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0

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(860): View more from Connecticut

That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument

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