I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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