all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea