Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
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you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.