why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
