After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!