I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.