brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
