she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.