so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
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Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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