U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
