The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
