FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
ok first of all what the fuck
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
