I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
