we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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