First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize