What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
how drunk are you?
Several
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
