What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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