Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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