i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
FUCK WHALES
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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