I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
