he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
