i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
