I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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