bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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