Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
nutella sex= disaster
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
