I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
