I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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