So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
