do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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