you're like a bully in the Christmas story
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
