just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
