You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
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I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
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It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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