I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
