I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
