Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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