the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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