heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
