I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
