i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
