I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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