hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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