I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
